Audacity of Hope

 

 Laskar Pelangi, a novel by Andrea Hirata, was based on the writer's own experiences. It is about an inspiring teacher and her 10 students in the poverty-stricken Kampung Gantong in Belitong. The poor condition of their school building does not dampen their high spirits and hopes for a better future. Brilliantly inspiring!

Muslimah

[Source courtesy of Abidah el Khalieqy]

When I watch this movie, "Perempuan Berkalung Sorban" (Lady with a Turban), it struck me that truly our beloved Prophet SAW is the best exemplar for humankind with regards to how to engage and treat women.

Indeed, in Islam, women hold a privileged position if one truly makes references to the Quran and Hadith and contemplates on sirah (history) of RasululLah SAW and his family, particularly his wives and daughters.

Perhaps this movie is deem 'controversial' because of the half-truth depiction of life in a pesantren (traditional Islamic school)... one of my beloved uncle went to Pesantren and women there are not treated in such a manner; The film-maker has the amanah (responsibility) to convey the whole truth and nothing but the truth... as such 'Islamic' movie is seen by the world over. This is what we call Media Literacy :)

I end this post with the movie's trailer:

 

Afternote: I can't stress enough the importance of seeking knowledge then operationalise one's life accordingly, see Islam in its totality (syumul) and truth (haq) and not take bits and pieces out of convenience. May Allah Azza wa Jalla protects us from the hellfire, ameen ya Rabbal 'Alameen.

Islamic Living

I actually read the book by Habiburrahman El Shirazy before watching this movie (have watched Part 2 as well, masya Allah... truly Allah SWT works in miraculous ways).

If only more of such Islamic movies were made, depicting the reality of the Ummah's life according to Sharia' law. Truly, the islamic paradigm is different from the western paradigm, subhan Allah.

Mum has become a fan of another author from Malaysia, Hasrizal Abdul Jamil and I know deep in her heart, she would have wished that he follows the footsteps of Habiburrahman El Shirazy and make movies too.

Afternote: I must admit, with humility and a tinge of embarassment, that I've not been keeping myself updated with Malay authors of today... but that does not mean that I've lost my Malay/Muslim identity :)

Confessions of an Economic Hit Man

Reading the book by John Perkins entitled "Confessions of an Economic Hit Man", I'm perpetually feeling sick in my gut just visualising how the stories unfold in my mind's eye... subhan Allah. Corporatocracy... are we truly living in an era void of conscience and humanity? Truly, how long does one have in this world to be so preoccupied with it until one forgets the eternal life in hereafter? May Allah SWT bestow these people with hidayah, which their soul desperately need, whether they realise it or not, ameen. I'll end this post with a video by the author himself, sharing a piece of what he wrote in the book.

Guy Talk

My brother was channel surfing over the long Chinese New Year weekend before he settled on Oprah. I became equally curious to find out what the guest speaker, Steve Harvey said about what made men tick:

1. Every man has a plan. "Men don't come up to you to just talk. We come up to you with a plan. When a man approaches a woman, he already knows what he wants from her, but he doesn't know what it will cost. How much time do you want from me? What are your standards? What are your requirements? Because we'll rise to the occasion no matter how high you set the bar if we want to."

2. Men are like fishermen, "You've got sports fishermen, and you've got guys out there fishing to eat. You've got guys who are fishing to keep the fish, and you've got guys who are fishing to catch them, unhook them and throw them back. You've got to determine along the way which one of the fish you're going to be."

3. The way a man introduces you gives good insight into the status of your relationship. Steve said, "Men are very protective. We mark our territory. If a man loves you...he's willing to give you a title after a while. You're going to be his lady, his woman, his fiancée, his wife, his baby's mama, something."

4. Men are fixers, not talkers so better get to the point. "When you say, 'We need to talk,' men put up the barriers. I tell ladies, just sit down and strike up a conversation."

In summary, his advice for women is, "You've got to quit lowering your standards. Set your requirements up front so when a guy hooks you, he has to know this is business. And don't let the man set the pace of the relationship -- it's always the woman who has total control. With all that power, why do you suddenly relinquish this power just because you want a guy to accept you? That's stupid. Say: 'Look, if you want to be with me, this is what you got to do. This is what it takes to get to me. You know you've got a keeper when your man wants to make sure you're always safe, coz every man wants to protect his woman."

Afternote: Hmm, interesting. Felt the urge to read his best seller. Truly, Islam is beautiful as there are clear guidelines of how to conduct a successful marriage in Islam with adab and clearly-defined roles for each party. So ladies, don't settle for less ;)

The Exemplar Beyond Compare

AlhamdulilLah, I must thank Sis Yati for giving this book to me, The Exemplar Beyond Compare: Muhammad Mustafa SAW by Osman Nuri Topbas. An inspirational read! I get newly acquainted with the beautiful attributes of the Uswat' ul-Hasanah - Merciful and Compassionate, subhan Allah!
 
I acknowledge it is not easy to emulate the Prophet SAW in every sense of the word; we must ikhtiyar (make an effort) and not use the excuse "He is a prophet, who are we?". The Quran clearly states:
 
"Certainly you have in the Messenger of Allah a quintessential example for one who hopes in Allah and the Latter Day and remembers Allah much." [al-Ahzab: 21]

"O Believers! Obey Allah and obey the Messenger, and render not your actions vain." [Muhammad: 33]

"Who so obeys Allah and the Messenger, they are with those unto whom Allah has shown favour, of the prophets, the saints, the martyrs and the righteous. The best of company are they!" [an-Nisa: 69]

Read Syed Naquib al-Attas' article on Prophet Muhammad SAW here.

Afternote: Our beloved Prophet SAW dutifully did his daily and sunnah ibadah in order to attain mercy from Allah SWT so that during the Day of Judgment, he can intercede for his Ummah. How can we not follow his example if we truly love him?

Conscious Marriage

I finally finished Dance of Love. Verdict: I agree with the ending in finding your other half who shares your belief or spirituality because it is much easier to raise a family when both parents have similar core values and belief system - "The mind seeks an easy relationship; the heart seeks a spiritual partner. The more a relationship supports each person in awakening to a spiritual aspect, the more expansive, spontaneous, wonderful and passionate it will be."

The next book I'm reading has a similar ring to it "Conscious Marriage: A New Model for Making Marriage Work". Stay tuned.

P/S #1: I will definitely read Unconventional, recommended by the author himself, J.J [thanks for adding me to your Shelfari contact list and for your word of encouragement!]

P/S #2: Happy birthday to dear Luke :)

Dance of Love

"Relationship is a powerful, often dizzying dance of polarities - sometimes delightful and seductive, sometimes fierce and combative, sometimes energizing, sometimes exhausting... The dance of relationship always involves alterations - between coming together and moving apart, taking hold and letting go, yielding and taking the lead, giving ourselves and maintaining integrity. It is not an easy dance to learn. Many people soon loose the rythm and wind up deadlocked in opposing positions, knowing only how to attack or withdraw."

Most books talk about "What's wrong with relationships and how we can fix them?" and the beauty of this book is that it focuses on "What's right about relationships that are already working successfully?" with concrete examples from real couples the author interviewed for this book.

Relationships or any form of commitment for that matter, are never easy... so is marriage, both parties have to work on it. The love experience is largely that of our own essence, as it is evoked by the presence of the other. Presence means presenting our own essence, taking off the masks and defenses, having our hearts open. It is the commitment to work diligently on their relationships, to persevere in resolving any difficulties and to consistently support each other.

I love the use of analogy of yoga to describe relationships - relationship requires awareness, focus, intent and consistent practice.It teaches us to stretch and strengthen parts of ourselves, to take unfamiliar positions while remaining centered and in balance, to direct our energy in new ways and to relax. We have the choice to be protective and avoid pain, or to open and learn to work with it. Yoga is challenging and invigorating, hard work and great fun. It gets easier and brings new insights as we move along the path. And it requires... commitment, commitment to integrity, to embrace our wholeness and the wholeness of our partner... seeing the oneness while seeking resolution of differences, without attempts at manipulating one to satisfy the other.

Hmm, the book asks if you have been in a relationship where in large or small ways, agreeing to things that you don't want to do? How often do you lie about your feelings or behaviour for fear of rejection, anger, loss, pain or hurting someone's feelings? And how often are you able to maintain your integrity in the face of those fears? These are questions worth exploring.

The books encourages us to practice the Voice Dialogue - recognising our inner selves: the pusher, pleaser, controller, critic, vulnerable child, rebel, good parent, and many more. Giving the various selves a voice helps us discover what each one feels and thinks, what it needs and what it has to offer. Some of these are primary selves, those which we most value and identify with as who we are. Opposite each primary self is a disowned self, one which we judge as bad or deny exists. When some selves take exclusive control and others are shut down, inaccessible, we are automatically out of integrity. All aspects of our wholeness want to be recognised, accepted and integrated in some way.

Interestingly, our partners will often embody the selves we disown (polar opposites attract) and this can be a source of great conflict for couples or else they can come to appreciate that each partner holds an energy that the couple needs to develop... bottomline we need to look out for complementary characteristics in that each partner brought balance and new ways of being for the other to integrate - the key: allowance, agreeing and disagreeing at times. And being mindful or one's Aware Ego is the central aspect of personality which recognises and honors all the many facets of ourselves, consciously choosing which energies to bring into expression at a given time.

I've just finished chapter 2 of chapter 9 and what I gather from this book is that relationships require self-awareness, persistence, flexibility, patience and lots of honest communication, which is the subject of the the subsequent chapters so stay tuned!

Read Right!

Subhan Allah. When I read the book Read Right, it truly shows that the brain is an amazing organ. Dr Tadlock is right. Sometimes we do not give ourselves or our babies or kids enough credit in the ability to 'softwire' the brain towards excellence. Perhaps its the social stigma or the lack of knowledge. I'd recommend this book to first-time parents... a must read! :)

Raising A Reader

My recent project requires me to research on how to instil the love of reading in kids. A book that I've just read is Read to me: raising kids who love to read . The author generally outlines the profile of each age group and recommended books to facilitate the joy of reading at their level. Other good reads include They're never too young for books: A guide to Children's Books for Ages 1 to 8 and Effective Reading Strategies.

I'm sold on the benefits reading early has on a child's mental and emotional development. And it is important that the whole family is sold on this idea such that reading becomes a central part of everyday family life.

Doing this project makes me wonder... will I be a good mother and educator to my future kids? Subhan Allah, motherhood is such a fulfilling vocation and I pray that I will have the opportunity to experience it, insya Allah.

Made to Stick

I simply love this book "Made to Stick". All marketers out there - yeah you - this is one read not to be missed. All you need to do is apply the simple SUCCESs principles in all that you do and voila.

Simple: Find and share the Core
Unexpected: Get attention (remember AIDA?) through surprise and hold the attention/interest
Concrete: Help people understand, remember and coordinate
Credible: Help people believe (internal and external credibility)
Emotional: Make people care, use the power of associations, appeal to self-interest and identity
Stories: Get people to act

With the use of these principles, we need to also be mindful of symptoms such as the curse of knowledge, decision paralysis, etc.

The Lucky One

I've just finished reading Nicholas Sparks' "The Lucky One". I could especially relate to how Beth and Logan felt about destiny. As wierd as it may sound, and as 'freaky-wierd' first impression Beth had about Logan, he turned out to be the perfect gentleman, my kinda man. I wish there were more of such love stories in the world, its morbid enough as it is. If only life can be that simple... actually it is, its all in our psyche... Anyway, its time to update my shelfari....

Verses of love

I managed to read the book before I watched the movie and it clicked! No love is greater than the love for the ONE and taking care of God's creation on earth is but just one of our duties, regardless if the outcome is reciprocal or otherwise. Because the fundamental point is that nothing truly belongs to us and our lives are but mere tests of our faith, subhan Allah. I leave you with the soundtrack from the movie, enjoy :)



PS: Happy birthday to the lovely couple, you know who you are ;P

Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas

I wanted to save this book and read it on my way to Turkey but that is another story altogether. I love the story as it centers around coping with love lost, rebirth, keeping faith and never giving up. Coincidentally, recently I learnt a valuable lesson on trusting your instincts more than you allow yourself to. In other words, stop being so 'anal' i.e. its ok to let your mind shoot irrelevant questions in your head; just don't blurt it out unnecessarily. Roger!

Anyway, every time I pick up a Nicholas Sparks material, I could somehow relate to it because I have gone or am going through what the characters are experiencing or feeling.

And the idea of having a scrapbook to document and share special moments with your child is priceless! I used to do that, keep a scrapbook with little anecdotes of places I've been to, or random thoughts on how I felt at that very moment... sometimes I'll include meaningful poems if I chanced upon them.

I also learnt about high risk pregnancies and Preeclampsia or Toxemia are common. I've heard how the blood poisons the baby and the mother causing complications such as kidney failure, liver cirrhosis, convulsion, etc... not a pleasant sight!

Most importantly, the material stresses the need to prioritise what is most important to you - family, health, integrity, friends and work, which I hope to emulate... time to take stock of things, take it easy at work for the sake of my health and perhaps settle down and start my own family is a good way to start living a more meaningful life? ;)

Shelfari, Cool Stuff!

Recently, Maish introduced me to Shelfari. I have to admit that I was skeptical at first... then I spoke to Regy about it and he immediately subscribed to it.

In retrospect, I gave it a try and realised that I could actually gain much insights from other like-minded readers as well about the books they find of value. Some of them provided really smart insights and different perspective of the materials they've read.

So in essence, we have a meaningful network going on here. If you are keen to see what it is all about, check out my profile and the books I've read, reading and planning to read :)

Sundays at Tiffany's

Over the weekend, I finished reading Sundays at Tiffany's. An easy read but I love the simple plot with the twist in the end. I could truly relate to Jane, the feelings she had growing up and the love-hate relationship she has with her mum. And then there was Michael, oh Michael. If only this world has more of such a man with a beautiful soul like Michael... Wishful thinking? Perhaps not :)

The Choice

I've just finished reading Nich's latest novel, The Choice. As always, Nich never fails to bring tears in my eyes. And coincidentally, the way the story started seems almost a reflection of what I'm going through right now - feelings that surpised me especially that sense of familarity that seems comforting, safe somehow. Could it be kismet? Hmm...

Anyway, back to the material. What I wonder is how many of us take the time to ultimately confront ourselves with the most heartwrenching question of all: how far would we go to keep the hope of love alive? Perhaps for some, you would go to great lengths for love, no hesitation at all, just throw caution to the wind and let love lead the way... and for some its just halfway or somewhere familiar. But one thing for certain the saying "should have been better this or that..." seems to ring true for all...

What I'm driving at is that we all have a choice and sometimes the best decisions we have to make comes from the God given gut feel or intuition. We just have to trust ourselves :)

Dear John

I finally caught up with my leisure reading and literally surprised myself when I finished reading Dear John in a day! There were a few tear-jerking moments, something which Nich has mastered oh so well. I could relate with the moments of anguish when John was at lost for words or his rebellion while growing up (I must say I was a rebel with a cause as well or at least I'd like to think I was!), or when Savannah wrote those beautiful letters to articulate what's happening in her life while apart from John, or the conflicted feeling of letting go (yes its hard but I admire her courage for knowing when its over), etc.

The material advocates that we should never judge a book by its cover (and its not easy to NOT be judgmental) and to give everyone an equal chance regardless of what the outcome would be. And that communication, honesty and trust are the cornerstones of a stable relationship. Allowing the one you love to grow in order to attain his/her greatest potential speaks of your maturity. Sometimes you just know if someone cares for you just by being, without the need to utter those 3 words.

What I find appealing about Nich's writing is that he always tells beautiful stories while creating awareness about a cause that is close to his heart. For example, I also learnt much about Autism and Asperger's syndrome from this material.

In reality, its rare to find someone with a tender heart who is willing to extend that unconditional love, without owning the girl he loves. People - by human definition - tend to be selfish and perhaps this book raises hope that a John Tyree could be for real :)

the M word...

"You start with the ingredients for a highly compatible, successful relationship, and then you work to develop closeness and intimacy. Does this mean you lower your standards when it comes to finding a partner? Absolutely not! It simply means you 'expand your field of vision."

I enjoyed reading the book by Dr Neil Clark Warren and totally agree with his 29 Dimensions... something I wished for at the back of my head; its not about being 'selective' mind you. What a revelation! View the list and make an informed decision yourself:

A. The Screening Dimension:
1. Good character
2. Good self-concept
3. Watch out for red flags
4. Anger management
5. Obstreperousness (harsh, unappreciative, difficult, etc)
6. Understandings about family
7. Good family background

B. Core Personal Dimensions
8. Intellect
9. Similar energy levels
10. Similar spirituality
11. Similar education levels
12. Appearance
13. Sense of humour
14. Mood management
15. Traditional vs Nontraditional personalities
16. Ambition
17. Sexual passion
18. Artistic passion
19. Good values
20. Industrious
21. Curiosity
22. Vitality and security
23. Autonomy vs closeness

C. Skills that can be developed
24. Communication
25. Conflict resolution
26. Sociability

D. Qualities that can be developed
27. Adaptability
28. Kindness
29. Dominance vs submissiveness

Above it all, there must be chemistry and commitment, the glue that keeps it all together.

Seven checkpoints to ask yourself before you make that plunge:
1. Take plenty of time to evaluate your relationship
2. Make sure you are the right age
3. Beware of being over-eager
4. Make yourself happy (above everyone else)
5. Make sure you have a broad spectrum of experiences before marriage
6. Make sure your expectations are realistic before saying "I do"
7. Address any character issues, behavioural problems or personality quirks

A wedding vow is a lifelong pledge to love someone unconditionally (its not easy to love someone, sometimes its tougher to like your partner at certain moments but you still regard your other half as a person of great worth and value), honor someone (treat your partner with respect even when he/she is different from you.. you honor the words and the eye contact with your attention and actions, saying "You are important to me"), cherish someone (treat your partner withh tender affection even under circumstances that aren't easy as it requires self-sacrifice; setting aside your own desires/needs at that moment to better meet the needs of your partner), forsake all others (not something I would reckon but in essence, it means treating your partner as important in your life enough to not play around with voices calling to you from outside the relationship or compromising impulses within you i.e. your partner can have deep and total trust in you), perform all duties (providing physical and emotional protection; all-nurturing relationship at all levels) and most importantly, under every kind of circumstances as long as we both shall live (in plenty and in want, in joy and sorrow; in sickness and in health...)

Sbarcea - The KM Lady!

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi

Thanks to Patrick Lambe, I had the privilege to meet Ms Kim Sbarcea from Thinking Shift yesterday over a KM session entitled "Establishing CoPs".

She is one of Asia Pacific's most experienced KM practitioners and has worked in KM roles in the legal and accounting industry before her current role at ASIC. She is currently best known for her work in building communities of practice and regularly advises organisations on this.

What I took away from the session was:

• How to identify and work with informal networks in the organisation
• The process of implementing CoPs (SOAP - Strategy on a Paper)
• The pitfalls, challenges and benefits of CoPs

An interesting new 'toy' a.k.a. tool I learnt was the Social Network Analysis (SNA) - the mapping and measuring of relationships and flows between people, groups, organizations, animals, computers or other information/knowledge processing entities.

These key learning points reinforced my understanding of Peter Senge's Learning Organisation concept as well as Michael Marquardt's 16 Steps into Becoming a Learning Organisation.

And this is essential info, folks, especially in an era where change is a constant. So it all ties nicely with John P. Kotter's philosophy. In his book, "Leading Change", he outlined the critical steps to successfully lead change in your organisation. My recommendation is to read the insightful reviews of the book before rushing to the bookstore or library... good stuff!